This was a difficult, tear-filled week for my emotional first grader. For his privacy, I won’t go in to details. For my own, I’ll add that this is an intensely personal post.
As the screams and tears continued from one day to the next, I found myself wondering, however, if for my sanity I needed to send him to school. Let someone else deal with the ups and downs for the day. I could handle the night if I could just get a break during the day.
But I realized quickly that this would solve nothing. He would still struggle to deal with the issues at hand, but he would be far from me. I would not know. Beyond not knowing, though, I would not be learning the patience and love that I learn by having him here with me.
There is a reason I am a mother. It is for in these moments of trial that I learn and improve myself as well.
It is painful to watch a child struggle in disappointment, anger, and frustration. It is also frustrating. I do not understand, and I do not know how to react. I have never been a mother to a child this age before. I am an amateur mother, and unprofessional struggling with unknown situations.
But as I cried in despair, I recalled that although I’ve only known this child for 6 years and five months, God knew him before that. Unlike me, God knows his heart. As I prayed for guidance and patience, I remembered that: God could not hold this child in his arms, but I could.
That is why I am a mother. It is not to teach him multiplication or writing. It is not to get him to make his bed every morning, and to teach him to chew with his mouth closed.
I am his mother to love him. I am his mother so I can show him the love that his Heavenly Father has for him. That should be my focus on weeks like this one.
I’m linking up with Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers!
image credit: godserv