If the walls could talk, they would tell you that I don’t spend my days sitting with my little ones around me on a cloud of rainbows.

I don’t great my young students in a bright ray of sunshine as they arise from their slumbers.

I don’t have a magic switch to turn myself into a delightful, cheerful homeschool mom, ready to tackle the day’s list.

No, if the walls could talk, you would know the truth.

I’m a yelling mama.

A typical homeschooling day includes tears of frustration. Maybe mine. Maybe from the preschooler. Maybe from the older kids. Maybe all of us.

And a typical homeschooling day will probably have some yelling. 

I feel it is important to tell the truth today. Yes, I have a blog about homeschooling. I write about the great learning games I make and others that we’ve discovered. I write about all the fun activities we do to make learning fun and get outside of the worksheet box. I take bright pictures of the toys and activity boxes I use with my toddler.

But behind all the bright pictures, there is an impatient woman. On the other side of the camera is a mom who is tired of trying to get a moment of non-clutter for the camera. Behind the blog’s publish button, there is a woman who desperately hopes I can be a positive influence for struggling homeschoolers, all the while why wondering if I truly can do it myself.

I considered doing a “Day in the Life of…” post for you like many others do this time of year on their blogs. But I’m afraid I needed to clear up this little secret first: I am still figuring it out myself. And if the walls could talk, they would tell you this truth.

I have so many great ideas for homeschooling. I love learning along with my children. In the good moments, I love it. I love watching my son’s mind light up with understanding when a difficult concept “clicks.” I love the basic learning playtime  I’m creating with almost-three-year-old Strawberry. These two kids, for the most part, love learning. They love being home with me, and I love to have them near. Those moments when we enjoy comradeship and learning: those are great times.

And then, there are the typical days.

If the walls could talk, they would tell you ….

• that Mom has to give herself time-outs just as frequently as the kids get them.
• that even on the best days, Mom’s voice will probably be raised to yelling at some point.
• that on the days when other schedules must be met, things will most definitely go wrong (at least according to the plan).
• that on random days, schoolwork becomes unexpectedly difficult (even when the day before the concept had been mastered).
• that no day is the same as any other.

Finally, if the walls could talk, they would tell you that I try to do better each day. They’d tell you that I’m not always better the next day, but that I’m trying.

Being a homeschool mom is not for the faint of heart. But it is also not for the perfect, crafty, creative, smart, know-it-all, do-it-all mom. I am none of those things. In fact, I am a yelling mama. I am impatient. I am tired.

And it’s a good thing I get seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, and 18 years (approximately) to try to figure this homeschooling and parenting thing out. Line upon line, it will all come together. In the end, I hope I will be able to recognize that I did my best in homeschooling my kids.

Just don’t ask the walls how today went.